Why I write

During the course of a day, I think about many, many things. I am that person who makes lists, but too many lists, and then tend to misplace my lists. I used to be the person who could remember everything about social events or times with friends and family, which would at times in infuriate people, but other times, it was seen as one of my quirky qualities. I take it to be one of the reasons I can be a great ethnographer.

But as I go through the day, I think a lot. I think about not only what I have to do, but I think about what I see. I think about what I hear. I often use my sociological perspective and wonder. I think about many research projects that could be done based on what I am seeing and hearing. I think of many things I could write about. I think about the "famous" blogs of different feminists and others in their writing about events and think I could do that. But, in all honesty, I don't care how many people read this, nor do I really have time to write such a great blog.  Yet, I am continuing to write this blog.  And here is the reason  I think why.

Some people exercise to  get their head together, relieve anxiety, etc. While I  have exercised and felt this,  I still don't get the same satisfaction of getting my thoughts together or even lets say out of my head. At times, I think of more things. I am not saying I don't like exercising or it's not good for me or anyone. But I also don't like to work out in a gym. I would prefer to ride my bike outside. I want to like Yoga more, but haven't found the right class or space to take it. And I do like to swim, but it's something I can't do for hours as I'm not that fit. As I ponder this, I think that when I exercise, I am able to be in the moment, which is incredibly important for mental health. But it doesn't necessarily help get all of these thoughts out, though I may be able to organize them more.

Oh, and if you read this and know me, I am a very verbal person. I process by talking. I probably talk too much. I like to talk about ideas. I do also like to write academically, but have realized more and more that the 20 minute a day thing hasn't been working for me lately, which may be the stage I am at now. I need large chunks of time to be into the writing and research coding process. I get in a more Zen state of writing this way and this is how I get it done.

So, back to why I write and I'm not out there running this morning or hitting the gym or what not. It clears my head. It lets me take a bit of the jumble out. I get to express myself. I get to think about how the personal experiences relate to larger society. It's my outlet, as a type of journal you might say. I often think about now what I might write after a day. And even if I don't get to writing it (as mornings are my best time for this), it helps give me direction. And also, it gives me practice. I don't edit this writing here. But I do think about my sentences and so forth. Not all academics were born great writers and some of us take longer to write, myself included. I tend to ramble when I talk and write and as a friend in my MSW program told me, reading my writing is like talking to me. So, I do try to an extent to practice some of the good writing skills here.

Thus, I conclude this writing for me is like exercise for others. But it's also my practice, my homework in getting back into writing for academic purposes. Thus, it has dual purposes to improve my mental health, but also to write better.