It's been almost a year in the South to the date. Some
people may wonder why I am so interested in things here and make comparisons to
life before. We all come from our different backgrounds and experiences. I grew
up in Iowa, in the same house for eighteen years of my life. I moved only a few
hours away for college in Nebraska, but still the Midwest. Then I moved to
Minneapolis, which was a bit different
in being a metro area, considered the "Upper Midwest", and had a few
unique Minnesota things. Yet, it was
still the Midwest and people talked similar, except for the "Minnesota accent"
(i.e. the Minnesota "O"),the landscape looked similar to where I was
from, I understood politics, and well, it was similar. And I was close enough to my prior
"homes" of Iowa and Nebraska to know some folks in Minneapolis from
these places and well, people knew were Iowa and Nebraska were.
For a Midwestern girl, the South was something you read
about in books- yes, probably about the Civil War and Civil Rights. It seemed
like an exotic place. Sure, I had visited Atlanta (which I thought was like
other big metro areas), Savannah (beautiful but only was downtown), and Texas (which I have thought it a lot like
the Midwest, or even Nebraska, just really hot) to name a few places I remember. I also spent time in Missouri,
which is directly South of Iowa, which I did not find that much different than
other places in the Midwest (and we could debate is Missouri is the South
depending on your criteria). Just as
much as friends during graduate school from the South were in awe of the first
snow in the North, I've experienced culture shock and still at times feel like
I am living in a foreign land (not exactly "awe" as it's not always a
positive feeling).
I didn't know the terms "buggy" (translation-
shopping cart in the south) nor "fixing" (literally you are going to
do something) in their Southern contexts before moving here. I didn't know that the term
"Yankee" when yelled at you to move back North could hurt and scare
you so much. I didn't know I would meet who I consider one of my best friends,
a soul-mate, in a small Southern town. I
didn't know I would feel so isolated at times and homesick for my hometown in
Iowa that I never wished to move back to.
I didn't know I would experience so much guilt in moving my family miles
away from our families and what we knew as "home". I thought grits
were a southern food and didn't know it was also an acronym standing for "Girls
Raised in the South." I didn't know the confederate flag would be everywhere
and that it would be hard for me to see how my students and folks from here
equate with Southern and State rights, not slavery. I didn't know that wearing
casual clothes to a brunch at a friend's house was not appropriate. I didn't
know my students would have no idea where Iowa is, though they could equate
Minnesota with Norwegian stereotypes and White folks. I didn't know that some
of my closest friends, being a liberal sociologist, would be in the military,
who have experienced more than most of us can imagine and have a complex
outlook on social life.
I'm here. I'm homesick and can't afford the time or money to visit
the Midwest, which is not just about me, but my kids do not get to see their
grandparents. I am here. I am picking up on Southern words and hear a Southern
accent coming out when I talk to folks with it from here. I am here and I am a
liberal. And that is not easy, which I will discuss in another post about quiet activism.
Yet, in a small Southern town, we were able to afford a nice
house. We're living "high on the hog" with Maytag appliances,
including a refrigerator with an ice maker and water. Our house is on .75 acres
of land in an older subdivision right outside of town. I can hear my neighbors,
but have seen them only a few times. The house is nice and updated for one
build in the 1960's, which is odd for us in having lived in houses always older
and under construction and remodeling. I can sit in my backyard and hear
various birds in the morning and all kinds of wild life at night. It's quiet
which is odd as we lived off a free way in the Twin Cities.
What is this post about? To an extent, without getting into
too much details, it is about a Midwestern born and bred girl's reaction to
moving to the South (Deep South) with her family. There's much emotion surrounding
this move... excitement about a new
place and learning new things, sadness about living far from family, and yes, fear
and guilt for being a "Yankee in the Deep South" who moved her who
family here. In part it's about the sociological ideas of cultural shock, in
that I still experience this daily, and need to check my own values and biases
in living in a more "rural" area in the Deep South (relating to
ethnoentricism). Yet, I'm being real. I'm being personal. Moving is not easy at any age and with an
adult with children and spouse, we are adjusting as individuals and a family. I'm being honest and what I can end with is that maybe
some a Southern granny will love my children so and treat them like so as we
live far from our relatives. I'm here. I'm learning. I'm loving. I'm making
mistakes. But this life.
